When you are afraid, you start going into fight or flight mode. Your body starts prioritising what is needed for immediate survival - screw routine body functions, if you don't make it past the next few moments there won't be a routine to return to. You stop digesting food. Cell repair slows or stops. You stop producing saliva, which is why your mouth goes dry when you're nervous just before making a speech or going into a difficult conversation. Your heart rate and breathing increase to ensure better blood flow. A cocktail of hormones like epinephrine and oxytocin are cued up and produced, which amplifies your body's ability to act (and remarkably, in the case of oxytocin, reminds you to seek help).
Don't be mistaken about what happens when you feel fear. Your body is readying itself to help you face what you fear in the way it knows how.
What causes us to feel fear?
1) Fear occurs to us unconsciously. Do you pause to think, hey, very angry looking snake! Maybe I should be scared. Of course not, it would be too late! Fear becomes much clearer when we examine what happens inside your brain. When you are afraid, the fear/anger/aggression/anxiety centre of your brain - the amygdalas (get used to this name, it's gonna keep popping up) lights up. And we've covered all the changes that happen in your body: your blood pressure, your hormones, your heart-rate. But remember how amygdala is like a train interchange with direct routes to different parts of your brain? There is a direct neural link between our amygdala and your pre-frontal cortex, the rational thinking part of your brain. And if we look closely enough or we think things through, sometimes we realise, argh! it's not an angry snake, it's just a prank toy that your annoying friend had thrown at you. Or if you've handled angry snakes enough times, your amygdala does not light as much. Your blood pressure and your heart rate do not increase as much, you realise what you need to do is to stay calm and slowly back away.
Finally, notice how fear, anger, aggression, and anxiety are processed by the same part of the brain, the amygdala. This is no coincidence. These 4 emotions are closely tied to one another; aggression maybe triggered because one is nervous, angry, or fearful. Being fearful may cause one to react angrily, as a self-defense mechanism. Fear, like all our emotions, happens to us. Mostly, we can't control how it originates. But we can control how it develops by understanding what exactly is causing fear and by choosing the response that dispels it
2) We fear what we are unconfident or uncertain about. Think back on your ancestors doing something they weren't confident or certain off - hunting a massive animal without a weapon, or eating a berry they've never seen before. Doing so would mean a very high chance of seriously harming themselves. Today, after many cycles of evolution, we have been wired based on these experiences.
Think about it. Are you ever fearful of something you've done before, and are good? Brushing your teeth, putting on your clothes, indulging in your favourite hobby (whatever it is)? Of course not. You know you can perform these functions easily. You are confident.
But many of us would have felt fearful and anxious the first time we ventured into something new: using a pair of chopsticks, riding a bicycle, swimming, going on a first date. We were uncertain about these functions, and we were not confident about performing them. However, once we have demonstrated to ourselves that we are able to perform these tasks, we are no longer afraid. The same applies to more challenging tasks. Some of us struggle with: public speaking, starting a business, having a very difficult conversation with the CEO... You are uncertain and unconfident if you can succeed. But once you have proven to yourself you are able to do it, even for the more challenging tasks, you are no longer afraid. People might start off feeling scared about public speaking, but after speech 3797, you're pro The catch, of course, is that sometimes, we are too scared to start.
Even if we were certain of something OR confident about something, many of us will still feel some amount of fear. We might be theoretically certain how we should use a pair of chopsticks, but if we have never succeeded in using them properly, we remain unconfident and will still feel nervous if we had to use them, especially when others are observing. You might also be confident about
3) we fear what is painful. Boxer. climbing 100 flights of stairs or doing 100 burpees. But pain is not just physical but mental. Failure is painful. Being judged is painful.
This is why you procrastinate. You either fear what you have to do bevause you don't know how to do it (you don't fear brushing your teeth for example), or you fear doing something becaue you know it will be effortful
4) we fear what we cannot control
Learn more about your amygdala, the amygdala hijack, the thalamus, the pre-frontal cortex, and how your brain works here.
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Summary:
- Fear and anxiety (and anger + aggression) are always
Your internal state, your external environment, and the reality you create.
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It takes into account your perception of the external environment;
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reconciles this with your own internal state and experiences;
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and in combination, creates your own subjective reality of what is happening and what you will do next.
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Woah... ok that sounds like a real mouthful. It becomes much clearer with some examples.
Let's say you're on a hike. You've been going at it hard, and then you realise, you're quite thirsty. You haven't had a drink of water for some time.
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Around a bend, you come across a man taking a sip of water. He tells you that just a few more metres in front, there's the most stunning scenery, a majestic mountain sandwiched by clear blue sky on the top, and a glistening lake at the bottom.
You eagerly press forward.
Your internal state is reminding you, hey, you need a drink of water soon. But at the same time, you are anticipating a stunning view. So the reality that your brain creates is: there's a great sight up ahead, let's go take a look, and then maybe we can go grab a drink.
Now imagine you're on the same hike. You come across the same bend and catch sight of the same hiker who tells you the same thing - great scenery just up ahead.
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But this time, you haven't drunk water for a much longer period of time. You're dehydrated.
Your internal state isn't just reminding you to get water soon. It's urgently telling to prioritise getting water now!
The external environment is exactly the same. But your internal state has changed. There are different neurochemicals released - acetylcholine, adrenaline, CRH, glucocorticoids - that raise your level of arousal, agitation, and attention, making you want to take action NOW.
As a result, your reality also changes: Why don't you ask the hiker if you could get some water. You can then explore the view later.
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A third scenario. Imagine now you are severely dehydrated. You're dizzy with thirst. You need water RIGHT NOW!
Again, same external environment - same hiker drinking, who tells you about the view ahead. But your internal state is of complete desperation.
It is not just to find water when you can, or to prioritse finding water immediately. The reality your brain creates is now: Forget about everything else. Only water matters. Do anything you can to get water right now.
In the first scenario, you might not even bother about asking for water, and head straight to the scenic spot.
In the second scenario, you might be disappointed if the hiker refuses to share some water. You might then make plans to quickly end the hike and find a water source.
But in this third scenario, you might now consider something much more draconian, something you would never imagine yourself doing - yelling at the hiker for water, or even to resort to violence, snatching the bottle from him or even bashing him up.
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A change in internal state, even if the external environment is completely identical, can lead to you acting in drastically different ways.
You can work out how this applies to other examples:
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You're queuing at the same stall at the same time of day with the same waiting time for the same coffee. Why does the queue sometimes feel irritatingly slow, while at other times you barely noticed?
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You miss the train and have to wait 1 hour for the next one. Do you feel different if you miss the train by 5 mins vs 50 mins?
Examples of the external environment affecting our version of reality are even easier to identify.
This Zoom image above must be familiar to many of us, a big feature of our lives during this Covid-19 period.
But think about it, video-conferencing technology has existed for a long time now. Zoom is not a significant improvement (if at all) from other video-conferencing software. And for such a long time, we were resistant to online meetings and discussions. People almost always chose to meet up physically, sometimes travelling hours or even flying over 2 days for a 30 minute meeting.
Today, we've been compelled by circumstances to use video conferencing for our meetings, for chats with friends and family, or even for conferences and class/training sessions. We've grown much more comfortable using it, when in the past we wouldn't have tried.
The change in external environment, even though we are the same person internally, causes our reality to shift - from "I'm not going to use this" to "When's my next Zoom?"
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Check out the links below for more interesting examples and write-ups.
 The top-rated restaurant in London. And it didn't exist. |  Are you lucky? Can you become luckier? |  Just one word can shape our view |
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 Exercise isn't enough. You have to believe that you have exercised. |  Can we really change how stress affects us? |  Scarred in mind or on the body? |
 Superhero dreaming: Will you act like superhero if you could feel like one? |  Cover Story: Can wearing a shirt that says generous make you more generous? |  Did you really pick this? Does it matter? |
 To see is to believe. Pain relief works better when we see it administered. |  Can holding a warm cup make you think a person is warmer? |  How is it possible that the same milkshake drank by the same person can sometimes leave him full and sometimes leave him hungry? |
 How do you change a first impression |  I don't knee surgery |  What does it mean to be rich? |
 Is this ramen tasty? |  The difference between winners and losers |  Can you learn the piano without ever touching a piano? |
 Cognitive Dissonance |  How much soup would you want? |  Learning our fears and unlearning them. |