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Example of sports: why do we always have to support one team?
if a game winning shot goes in we can spin any number of stories about the shooter:

If he was playing poorly, we could spin a story about how he stood up to be counted when it mattered. He was able to maintan confidence despite all the misses.
If he was playin well, we could spin a story about how he carried his team to victory, such a dominant player. Same thing with strategy: We know this works because someone did it before vs this work because no one has done it before and they wont be expcting it. 

But let's just suppose the shot bounces in and out - sheer luck. 
somehow we could reframe the story completely.

If the shooter was playing well, we would spin a story that he was dominant but he coldn't hit the shot when it mattered

If the shooter was not playing well, we would spin a story that he choked throughout the game.

All this hinging on one shot. We form a sotry on one shot. We overemphasise the shot. Bt what were the other teammates doing to help make the shot easier? What about the quality of the defence. ANd why wasn't there 

Remember, failure is not the aim. It is learning and improvement that is the aim. Failure simply provides us with a deeper and better opportunity to learn. but nonetheless, failure is net negative unless you learn from it. 

even the smartest folks are dumb in many ways. Prince Phillip asking Simon Pegg if he got the role of Reepicheep because he had a voice that sounded like a mouse. 

Gary Hart was a married politician, lawyer, author, and college professor whose hubris led him to making an incredibly dumb move: provoking the media.

Hart's pitfall -- besides having an affair with a model named Donna Rice while running for office -- was assuming that he was smarter than reporters. Hart must have thought that he could count on absolute discretion from Rice and everyone else who knew about the relationship. And with his background he should have known better.

Hart was a campaign manager-turned-politician, and in 1987, the favorite for the Democratic presidential nomination [source: Currie]. Reporters suspected an affair between Hart and Rice, but it was Hart's arrogance that did him in. When rumors surfaced that he was cheating on his wife, rather than dodging the questions or coming clean, Hart adamantly denied the rumors, and dared the media to follow him around. ("You'll be bored," was his actual comment.)

Surprise! Reporters did just that, and that same day, they spotted Rice leaving Hart's house. Then they discovered that Hart had taken a romantic cruise with Rice, on a boat called -- no, seriously -- "Monkey Business." Then, reporters began hounding Rice's close friend (and "Monkey Business" shipmate) Lynn Armandt about the relationship. Armandt dodged reporters for weeks before she finally caved and confessed to knowing first-hand about the Hart-Rice affair [source: Green]. From the account of the affair that Armandt later shared with People Magazine, the biggest surprise in this scandal is that it didn't break sooner. Neither party was very discreet, and Rice had told several friends about her tryst. How george Bush snr, a terrific politician lost a national debate

This is why some researchers are cautioning against the pursuit of mere happiness. In a new study, which will be published this year in a forthcoming issue of the Journal of Positive Psychology, psychological scientists asked nearly 400 Americans aged 18 to 78 whether they thought their lives were meaningful and/or happy. Examining their self-reported attitudes toward meaning, happiness, and many other variables -- like stress levels, spending patterns, and having children -- over a month-long period, the researchers found that a meaningful life and happy life overlap in certain ways, but are ultimately very different. Leading a happy life, the psychologists found, is associated with being a "taker" while leading a meaningful life corresponds with being a "giver."

"Happiness without meaning characterizes a relatively shallow, self-absorbed or even selfish life, in which things go well, needs and desire are easily satisfied, and difficult or taxing entanglements are avoided," the authors write.

How do the happy life and the meaningful life differ? Happiness, they found, is about feeling good. Specifically, the researchers found that people who are happy tend to think that life is easy, they are in good physical health, and they are able to buy the things that they need and want. While not having enough money decreases how happy and meaningful you consider your life to be, it has a much greater impact on happiness. The happy life is also defined by a lack of stress or worry.

Most importantly from a social perspective, the pursuit of happiness is associated with selfish behavior -- being, as mentioned, a "taker" rather than a "giver." The psychologists give an evolutionary explanation for this: happiness is about drive reduction. If you have a need or a desire -- like hunger -- you satisfy it, and that makes you happy. People become happy, in other words, when they get what they want. Humans, then, are not the only ones who can feel happy. Animals have needs and drives, too, and when those drives are satisfied, animals also feel happy, the researchers point out.

"Happy people get a lot of joy from receiving benefits from others while people leading meaningful lives get a lot of joy from giving to others," explained Kathleen Vohs, one of the authors of the study, in a recent presentation at the University of Pennsylvania. In other words, meaning transcends the self while happiness is all about giving the self what it wants. People who have high meaning in their lives are more likely to help others in need. "If anything, pure happiness is linked to not helping others in need," the researchers, which include Stanford University's Jennifer Aaker and Emily Garbinsky, write.

What sets human beings apart from animals is not the pursuit of happiness, which occurs all across the natural world, but the pursuit of meaning, which is unique to humans, according to Roy Baumeister, the lead researcher of the study and author, with John Tierney, of the recent book Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength. Baumeister, a social psychologists at Florida State University, was named an ISI highly cited scientific researcher in 2003.

All the time-tested strategies were on display: he offered bonuses or freebies as incentives, and heightened tensions by warning people that he only had a certain number of units on hand (“supplies are limited!”). He assigned numbers to his customers—”You’re number eight, you’re number nine,” and so on—which gave them the impression that you had to get in line to take advantage of the great deal he was offering up. He employed the classic countdown technique, where he systematically lowered the price as he neared the end of the pitch. and when he was at the very end and started accepting cash, he avoided selling the item to the last batch of eager customers, instead launching into a fresh pitch. To get new people to come over and watch a demonstration, it requires that other people be standing in rapt attention. “Wait, there’s something else i want to show you before you take this home with you,” he might say.

Damned by a good memory. I can still see my past so clearly. Different moments are stored like transparent capsules. You can see what unfolds. ANd it is so clear now, with hindsight, what was beautiful and what was wrong. You can see so clearly the moments where luck smiled at you and when you deluded yourself into a reality that you wanted to believe. And inevitably you try to change it. I try to open it, to scratch it, to rip apart, the capsule doesn't open. I can't change what has happened. I have to live with these capsules in my mind. And sometimes you look back at the capsule and it was a better you, a more fun, smarter, attractive, appealing, positive you. And you're no longer that person. You've changed. for the worse. The accumulation of these capsules documents my whole life. Did I live life well? I can only look back at these capsules, and on the aggregate measure myself. And at present, it sucks so bad. 

We know about neuroplasticity. Your brain is incredibly plastic and is moldable in many ways. this means we have the capacity to constantly learn and improve ourselves, and fundamentally change who we are. But the converse is also true. Neuroplasticity is values free, which means it also works the other way. Some neural connections get lost. The knowledge and memories you have faded or are much more difficult to activate The person you are today is a faint image of the better person you were in yesteryears.

Science has always been fascinated by the observation of patterns in different realms. For example the golden ratio. The similarity of the iris and the galaxy. Our neural system and the capillaries on a leaf.
I think the neuroplasticity in our brains is very similar to the relationships we make. Work at them, and they strengthen and grow and you access them more easily. But the converse is true. Sometimes the connections break off. The synapses weaken or disappear. sometimes this is for the better. I've met many people in my life and I will have no regrets not seeing any of them ever again. And sometimes there were those who passed through your life in a fleeting manner, where the synapses just didn't have time to build and strengthen. And sometimes there are those we are not yet ready to leave. We don't want them to leave. These the ones that we are deeply saddened when we know that the synapse is weakening. We don't want to let them go. And they don't want to let us go. ANd despite the sadness, they turn around and they give you this smile. They smile because they want to present the best side of what you shared. They smile because it represents the goodness that you exchanged. The smiled because they cared about you and loved you and will always do. It is so beautiful because there was so many good memories and so much good vibe that smile. The brilliant moments that we will carry with us to our graves. But it is also so painful. Because these moments are fading. We might never re-live them. We might never get them back Or we have of them are the capsules of memories stored in our brains, which we can never access again. 

Anna from the OC, leaving Seth

Itachi dying a second time, leaving Sasuke. 

Supermarket somewhere in suburban Berlin, away from the main attractions. I had no idea how I ended up there, I must've taken the wrong bus. shfhjjsbhadi

i looked over at the asian girl. I wonder where she is from. It was not reciprocated. She gritted her teeth. She counted he chnage. and she paid for what she took. We hear so much about heroes in our lives. All the hard work people put in to emerge as some bigwig somewhere. But you know what? many of us struggle mightily. We grit our teeth and pull ourselves forwad to survive, in whatever way we can. I wanted to tell her just how much I admired her then. But she was already gone. 


People will bring flowers and cry at your funeral. It's just too much to ask for a hand when you're sick and down. Help is hard to get. I've always felt that i need to get through life on my own. I think that's the hardest bit you know. I'll fight. I just wish someone was with me. Just 1. 

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