When you are afraid, you start going into fight or flight mode. Your body starts prioritising what is needed for immediate survival - screw routine body functions, if you don't make it past the next few moments there won't be a routine to return to. You stop digesting food. Cell repair slows or stops. You stop producing saliva, which is why your mouth goes dry when you're nervous just before making a speech or going into a difficult conversation. Your heart rate and breathing increase to ensure better blood flow. A cocktail of hormones like epinephrine and oxytocin are cued up and produced, which amplifies your body's ability to act (and remarkably, in the case of oxytocin, reminds you to seek help).
Don't be mistaken about what happens when you feel fear. Your body is readying itself to help you face what you fear in the way it knows how.
What causes us to feel fear?
1) Fear occurs to us unconsciously. Do you pause to think, hey, very angry looking snake! Maybe I should be scared. Of course not, it would be too late! Fear becomes much clearer when we examine what happens inside your brain. When you are afraid, the fear/anger/aggression/anxiety centre of your brain - the amygdalas (get used to this name, it's gonna keep popping up) lights up. And we've covered all the changes that happen in your body: your blood pressure, your hormones, your heart-rate. But remember how amygdala is like a train interchange with direct routes to different parts of your brain? There is a direct neural link between our amygdala and your pre-frontal cortex, the rational thinking part of your brain. And if we look closely enough or we think things through, sometimes we realise, argh! it's not an angry snake, it's just a prank toy that your annoying friend had thrown at you. Or if you've handled angry snakes enough times, your amygdala does not light as much. Your blood pressure and your heart rate do not increase as much, you realise what you need to do is to stay calm and slowly back away.
Finally, notice how fear, anger, aggression, and anxiety are processed by the same part of the brain, the amygdala. This is no coincidence. These 4 emotions are closely tied to one another; aggression maybe triggered because one is nervous, angry, or fearful. Being fearful may cause one to react angrily, as a self-defense mechanism. Fear, like all our emotions, happens to us. Mostly, we can't control how it originates. But we can control how it develops by understanding what exactly is causing fear and by choosing the response that dispels it
2) We fear what we are unconfident or uncertain about. Think back on your ancestors doing something they weren't confident or certain off - hunting a massive animal without a weapon, or eating a berry they've never seen before. Doing so would mean a very high chance of seriously harming themselves. Today, after many cycles of evolution, we have been wired based on these experiences.
Think about it. Are you ever fearful of something you've done before, and are good? Brushing your teeth, putting on your clothes, indulging in your favourite hobby (whatever it is)? Of course not. You know you can perform these functions easily. You are confident.
But many of us would have felt fearful and anxious the first time we ventured into something new: using a pair of chopsticks, riding a bicycle, swimming, going on a first date. We were uncertain about these functions, and we were not confident about performing them. However, once we have demonstrated to ourselves that we are able to perform these tasks, we are no longer afraid. The same applies to more challenging tasks. Some of us struggle with: public speaking, starting a business, having a very difficult conversation with the CEO... You are uncertain and unconfident if you can succeed. But once you have proven to yourself you are able to do it, even for the more challenging tasks, you are no longer afraid. People might start off feeling scared about public speaking, but after speech 3797, you're pro The catch, of course, is that sometimes, we are too scared to start.
Even if we were certain of something OR confident about something, many of us will still feel some amount of fear. We might be theoretically certain how we should use a pair of chopsticks, but if we have never succeeded in using them properly, we remain unconfident and will still feel nervous if we had to use them, especially when others are observing. You might also be confident about
3) we fear what is painful. Boxer. climbing 100 flights of stairs or doing 100 burpees. But pain is not just physical but mental. Failure is painful. Being judged is painful.
This is why you procrastinate. You either fear what you have to do bevause you don't know how to do it (you don't fear brushing your teeth for example), or you fear doing something becaue you know it will be effortful
4) we fear what we cannot control
Learn more about your amygdala, the amygdala hijack, the thalamus, the pre-frontal cortex, and how your brain works here.
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Summary:
- Fear and anxiety (and anger + aggression) are always
Ichiyo Kanno - giving when so much had been taken
"There is a Japanese phrase - Ichigo Ichie. It means a once in a lifetime chance. Whenever I meet someone, I act like it's the only chance I'll have to meet them. So I won't have any regrets. I always greet them with my best smile. I'd rather smile than act sad as I want them to enjoy themselves. Maybe that's why I appear so happy"
Photo credit:
Chris Broad,
Abroad In Japan
"How Japan overcame a $200 billion disaster.
9 years ago, the fourth largest earthquake ever recorded struck off the coast of Eastern Japan. The earthquake was so powerful, it shifted the entire Earth sideways on its axis, and caused our globe to rotate faster. It created tsunamis 10 storeys high, travelling above 700km/h, close to a cruising aircraft. And it wrecked the Fukushima nuclear plant. 400km of coastline wiped out, US$250 million in economic costs.
The cumulative costs to the country were devastating. But at the individual level, it was more than just costs. Their lives were to change permanently.
Ichiyo Kanno was married to a fisherman (largely because of her love oysters). Like many others along the coast, Ichiyo's home in Shibitachi was wrecked by the tsunami. Her husband's boats were swept away. Their home and livelihood ruined, they thought about packing in it and moving away from a region where a tsunami strikes ever so often.
That was until student volunteers helping out disaster relief efforts came by and asked if they could stay at her house. All that was left standing was a roof and 4 walls, but when everything else was debris, it was the best accommodation in the area. Eventually, Ichiyo would play host to over 1,000 volunteers.
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This gave her a new direction in life. With her husband, Ichiyo set up Tsunakan hostel. She quickly gained popularity. Her friendliness and positivity were infectious. She developed into a figure that represented hope and soul for the recovering community. Her hostel became one of the attractions of Sanriku coast, drawing visitors. You can find multiple news pieces covering her inn.
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In 2017, tragedy struck again. Her husband, eldest daughter, and son-in-law were killed on a fishing trip. The sea would land yet another devastating blow to her life.
After a few months of mourning, Ichiyo got back on her feet and reopened the hostel. Even though it was painful for her to do so, she concluded that it was the best thing she could do. And she does so with her trademark positivity. Even though she had every reason to crumble, to be depressed, to be beaten, she became someone whom guests turned to instead, someone who ironically raised the spirits of people who have had happier lives than she did.
How is it that she has managed to maintain such positivity despite all the personal tragedy?
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"My way of living now is, I don't look back at it all. If I look back at what happened, it'll be when I'm 70 or 80 years old. I don't want to dwell on the past. Nor do I expect too much from the future -because then I won't get too shocked if things are different from what I expected. If I can get by now, if I can live in this moment, I can keep going.
There is a Japanese phrase - Ichigo Ichie. It means a once in a lifetime chance. Whenever I meet someone, I act like it's the only chance I'll have to meet them. So I won't have any regrets. I always greet them with my best smile. I'd rather smile than act sad as I want them to enjoy themselves. Maybe that's why I appear so happy"
It's pretty amazing, isn't it? By giving the best of her to others, she had also found the best for herself. The way life works is a paradox sometimes. It would seem that sometimes so much have been taken away from us that we have nothing left to give. But strangely enough, it could be that only be giving could you then receive.
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Ichiyo was also asked if she hated the seas, which have inflicted so much misery onto her. Her reply was profound:
"The sea gives us many things. But I keep telling myself it's no good to only take from it. Sometimes, we have to give back. Is it wrong to use the term "give back"? It's difficult to put into words. If there are positives, there will always be negatives. I have to believe that the world is balanced like that. It's hard to go on if I don't tell myself that."
Ichiyo's view here might sound somewhat morbid, but I largely agree with her. If you're interested, I had written another piece - why humans do not fit into the nature cycle.
You can watch the short interview with Ichiyo, as well as other resilient and innovative Japanese folks recovering from the tsunami in this video: