When you are afraid, you start going into fight or flight mode. Your body starts prioritising what is needed for immediate survival - screw routine body functions, if you don't make it past the next few moments there won't be a routine to return to. You stop digesting food. Cell repair slows or stops. You stop producing saliva, which is why your mouth goes dry when you're nervous just before making a speech or going into a difficult conversation. Your heart rate and breathing increase to ensure better blood flow. A cocktail of hormones like epinephrine and oxytocin are cued up and produced, which amplifies your body's ability to act (and remarkably, in the case of oxytocin, reminds you to seek help).
Don't be mistaken about what happens when you feel fear. Your body is readying itself to help you face what you fear in the way it knows how.
What causes us to feel fear?
1) Fear occurs to us unconsciously. Do you pause to think, hey, very angry looking snake! Maybe I should be scared. Of course not, it would be too late! Fear becomes much clearer when we examine what happens inside your brain. When you are afraid, the fear/anger/aggression/anxiety centre of your brain - the amygdalas (get used to this name, it's gonna keep popping up) lights up. And we've covered all the changes that happen in your body: your blood pressure, your hormones, your heart-rate. But remember how amygdala is like a train interchange with direct routes to different parts of your brain? There is a direct neural link between our amygdala and your pre-frontal cortex, the rational thinking part of your brain. And if we look closely enough or we think things through, sometimes we realise, argh! it's not an angry snake, it's just a prank toy that your annoying friend had thrown at you. Or if you've handled angry snakes enough times, your amygdala does not light as much. Your blood pressure and your heart rate do not increase as much, you realise what you need to do is to stay calm and slowly back away.
Finally, notice how fear, anger, aggression, and anxiety are processed by the same part of the brain, the amygdala. This is no coincidence. These 4 emotions are closely tied to one another; aggression maybe triggered because one is nervous, angry, or fearful. Being fearful may cause one to react angrily, as a self-defense mechanism. Fear, like all our emotions, happens to us. Mostly, we can't control how it originates. But we can control how it develops by understanding what exactly is causing fear and by choosing the response that dispels it
2) We fear what we are unconfident or uncertain about. Think back on your ancestors doing something they weren't confident or certain off - hunting a massive animal without a weapon, or eating a berry they've never seen before. Doing so would mean a very high chance of seriously harming themselves. Today, after many cycles of evolution, we have been wired based on these experiences.
Think about it. Are you ever fearful of something you've done before, and are good? Brushing your teeth, putting on your clothes, indulging in your favourite hobby (whatever it is)? Of course not. You know you can perform these functions easily. You are confident.
But many of us would have felt fearful and anxious the first time we ventured into something new: using a pair of chopsticks, riding a bicycle, swimming, going on a first date. We were uncertain about these functions, and we were not confident about performing them. However, once we have demonstrated to ourselves that we are able to perform these tasks, we are no longer afraid. The same applies to more challenging tasks. Some of us struggle with: public speaking, starting a business, having a very difficult conversation with the CEO... You are uncertain and unconfident if you can succeed. But once you have proven to yourself you are able to do it, even for the more challenging tasks, you are no longer afraid. People might start off feeling scared about public speaking, but after speech 3797, you're pro The catch, of course, is that sometimes, we are too scared to start.
Even if we were certain of something OR confident about something, many of us will still feel some amount of fear. We might be theoretically certain how we should use a pair of chopsticks, but if we have never succeeded in using them properly, we remain unconfident and will still feel nervous if we had to use them, especially when others are observing. You might also be confident about
3) we fear what is painful. Boxer. climbing 100 flights of stairs or doing 100 burpees. But pain is not just physical but mental. Failure is painful. Being judged is painful.
This is why you procrastinate. You either fear what you have to do bevause you don't know how to do it (you don't fear brushing your teeth for example), or you fear doing something becaue you know it will be effortful
4) we fear what we cannot control
Learn more about your amygdala, the amygdala hijack, the thalamus, the pre-frontal cortex, and how your brain works here.
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Summary:
- Fear and anxiety (and anger + aggression) are always
2. Because we create stories so naturally, we might not notice that some of the stories we create are inaccurate. We formulate some stories based on little or incorrect info, or under the influence of our biases.
This is the second of a 4-part series on "Stories"
In part 1, we examine how we automatically create stories to help us understand and explain what is happening in our lives.
In part 2, we explore how some of the stories we create are inaccurate
In part 3, we reflect on how it is very difficult to change the stories that we have created
In part 4, we look at how the stories we create go on to impact our lives
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Our daily lives are filled with tweets and Facebook posts. And reading these, don't you feel really angry with these politicians? Did you formulate a story about how spoilt and entitled they are, travelling in luxury at the cost of the taxpayer, or affecting the running of a concert at the cost of everyone's time? Can we trust the politicians? Aren't they out of touch?
Make no mistake, there are some terrible politicians out there. But aside from who the subject is, how many app messages and headlines do we read on social media today, and how many have we immediately formulated a story about, which is incorrect? What's not mentioned is that:
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Education Secretary DeVos foot the bill for the private jet herself. Her travel claims have been negligible.
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Politician John was late because the concert organiser wanted a series of photos with him and the management team before the concert started. He did leave halfway... to use the bathroom, and he didn't return until after the interval, because he didn't want to disrupt the audience experience. He was still around after the concert talking to band members.
Try This!
Steve loved basketball from a young age, and quickly became the best player in the neighbourhood. This year, at age 17, it was no surprise that Steve was the best player on his high school team. John is also 17, but is seven feet (2.13m) tall. John has just picked up basketball. Who is more likely to end up playing in the NBA?
Take a look at the challenge above. Who do you think is more likely to end up playing in the NBA? Regardless of culture or age, most of us believe that Steve is more likely to become an NBA player. His success as a young player helps us formulate a story - he is very good at basketball, much better than others, certainly better than someone who has just played for 2 years. But most of us failed to consider something else - statistics: 17% of seven footers growing up in America become NBA players. John has a better than 1 in 6 chance of being in the NBA just because of his height. And the chance of a high school team player making the NBA? 0.03% Even if Steve is very good, he has to be among the top 3 out of 10,000 to make it.
Or how about this: People were willing to pay an average of $14.12 to buy a $100,000 life insurance policy if it covered death caused by terrorist acts, but were only willing to pay $12.13 for the same policy if it covered all causes of death (Johnson, et al 1993).
Sometimes we are attuned to one particular story, it affects our ability to process information logically. More examples:
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People thought that it was more likely for Roger Federer to "lose the first set but come back strong to win the match" than for him to "lose the first set". ("Rationality, Eliezer Yudkowsky)
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People gave a higher estimate for the number of lung cancer cases caused by smoking than for the total number of lung cancer cases ("Black Swan", Nicholas Nassim Taleb)
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Let's take a look at another example:
Scar Experiment (Robert Kleck, Dartmouth University)
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Participants were told that the experiment was meant to observe if people behaved differently towards those with facial scars.
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Participants were placed into rooms with no mirrors
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A make-up artist proceeded to draw a scar on their face
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After the scar was drawn, participants were given a short glimpse of it with a pocket mirror.
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Participants were then invited to leave the room and interact with folks in the building.
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Before they left the room, the make-up artist told the participants that the scar needed some final touch-ups. But, what the make-up artist actually did next was to wipe off the make-up of the scar.
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Participants left the room thinking they still wore a make-up scar.
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They overwhelmingly reported back that people stared at their scars, and were mean and rude to them.
Sometimes, it is the stories we create rather than actual reality that causes us to feel fear and anxiety. Just like this scar experiment - the "scars" and the "reactions to these scars" were imagined. How many of our own stories are created by ourselves? How often are we creating a story to judge how we think others judge us? And in turn, if we believe these stories that we create, it affects, making us more unconfident, awkward, uncomfortable. Just like this scar experiment, even when we have no scars, by believing our imaginary stories, we are transpiring to make them come true.
Sure, sometimes our suspicions are indeed justified. Sometimes our stories are true. It might be a very bad period at work. You might really have a terrible boss. Your spouse or partner might have changed.
The goal isn't to be some overly-positive happy bunny, looking only at the good parts, and trying to write off all the bad as incorrect stories. But with all the challenges we already face in life, we should make sure we are not weaving incorrect stories that constrain or hurt ourselves.
Next example:
Dehumanisation of victims (Albert Bandura, Stanford University)
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Participant is told that there are some learners in the other room.
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The learners will be asked to answer a series of questions. If they answer incorrectly, the participant will be instructed via the receiver to deliver some punishment through a lever.
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The participant gets to decide how much punishment he/she wishes to mete out.
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Just before the experiment begins, the receiver is "accidentally" left on, and the participant can hear the experimenters "gossiping" about the learners:
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Scenario 1: the instructors call the learners " a real bunch of animals".​
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Scenario 2: the instructors call the learners " a nice bunch of people".
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Scenario 3: nothing is said
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Results:
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Even though the "learners' were actually accomplices that made the same number of errors at the same points of time in all 3 scenarios (horizontal axis), the reactions of the participants varied dramatically (vertical axis)
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The extent of punishment directly correlated with what the examiner said before the experiment:
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The humanised group (the bunch of nice guys) were punished less than the control group(nothing is said), who was, in turn, punished less than the dehumanised group (a bunch of animals).
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This difference in punishment happens even when all 3 groups performed exactly the same.
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Just one line of description is sufficient for us to formulate a story, which then affects our actions and decisions, even if this does not match reality.
The experiment above is an example of how easy it is for us to formulate wrong stories. Just one word from a stranger we have just met is enough to influence us to condemn another group of strangers. And it comes as no surprise that companies often try to shape our stories, to get us to buy products or services that they are selling. Just think about your reaction to commercials which you've recently watched.
Then, we have the example of The Shed at Dulwich.
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Ever used peer review sites like TripAdvisor for your making plans?
The Shed at Dulwich made it to No. 1 out of almost 20,000 reviewed restaurants in London. Numero Uno. Pretty impressive huh?
Here's the thing. The Shed at Dulwich didn't exist! All it had was a fake address, some fake food pictures (quite creative, as you see above) and a few fake reviews to begin with. The only thing real was an email address, where the "founders" continually rejected reservations, claiming that the restaurant was fully booked for months! Soon, people started believing these early reviews - and amazingly, added their own reviews and ratings of the place (which they never visited, because again... it didn't exist!!!). The rating of The Shed rose steadily. Magazines and other review sites started paying notice. Some companies even sent free gifts with the hope of getting a table for their CEOs. And it became a mini status-symbol to have dined at The Shed, given how hard it seemed to get a seat. Until... The Shed inexplicably reached number 1. A fake restaurant, beating all the others which served actual food, because it created a story that everyone wanted to believe.
I think the point has been adequately made. We formulate stories naturally, but sometimes, our stories are inaccurate. In part 3, we explore how, once we have formulated a story, it becomes very difficult to change.
But before that, something light-hearted from he super sharp and funny masterpiece of a series - Yes, Prime Minister. (video is about 2 mins long):